Monday, August 23, 2010

Mrs. Robinson...

"Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me... aren't you?"

I'm very important...

I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Sir, can I trouble you for a glass of warm milk? It helps me go to sleep.

You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut-the-hell-up! Now, you will go to sleep! Or I will PUT you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You're in MY world now, grandma!

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Hey! I'm Mark Wahlberg. You guys know me. Let's go talk to some animals.

Hey, dog. How's it goin'? I like your fur, that looks really great. So you're a dog, right? What's that all about? Okay, well it was great to meet you. Say hi to your mother for me, okay?

Now I'm gonna talk to a goat.
Hey, goat. It's good to see you. I like your beard. I had a beard like that in The Perfect Storm. Did you see that movie? Did ya, did ya see The Perfect Storm, goat? Say hi to your mother for me, okay

Now I'm gonna talk to a chicken.
Hey, chicken. How's it hangin'? A lot of people wanna eat you, but I just wanna talk to you, okay? We should do a film together, whaddya think? Hey, chicken, I'm not joking around, okay? This is the real thing, I mean this could be huge! All right, well, think about it. Say hi to your mother for me, alright?

Now I'm gonna talk to a donkey.
Hey, donkey. What's goin' on? You're a donkey, I like that. You eat apples, right? I produce Entourage. Okay, talk to you later, donkey.

Say hi to your mother for me, alright?

I'm in a glass case of EMOTION!

I love... carpet.

I love... desk.

Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
I love lamp.

Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
I love lamp. I love lamp.

PC Load Letter"? What the f%&$ does that mean?

No, not again. I... why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days, I just kick this piece of sh%t out the window.

Monday, December 21, 2009

I'm the king of the world, on a boat like Leo!

I'm on a boat! I got my swin trunks and my flippies-floppies.